'True' Authenticity

I recently split up with my girlfriend of 2 1/2 years. It was a hard thing to come to terms with and to finally take action on. We both agreed it was probably long over due but, neither of us had the guts to take action until it became blatantly obvious it had to be done. The period of time between when the relationship was ripe for ending and when it actually did end created a space for much heartache that was felt both during and even more so at the end.

So, what is it to be truly authentic in a relationship? It is not only being honest with your partner but being completely honest with yourself as well. How often do we ‘know’ something is not right for us but continue to move forward anyway because it’s just comfortable? What is holding us back from taking a stand and acting from this authentic place? More often than not I believe it is “fear”; fear of pain, fear of hurting someone else or just fear of the unknown. What is the cost of living from this fear and denying our authentic self? Suffering. Until we gain the courage to empower ourselves and take action from this authentic place we will simply be tolerating a life or lifestyle that is not in line with our core values. It’s like petting a dog in the wrong direction or going against the grain. We will never be fulfilled this way.

The truth is; humans are incredibly resilient and stronger than most any obstacle life happens to throw our way - your partner too! We are not protecting anyone from pain by not being truly honest with ourselves. We are in fact enduring pain, causing pain and living from fear. By not acting from this authentic place we are continuing to bake a cake that is starting to burn. How long will we wait? Months? Years? Will the cake get better if we just hold on a little longer? I can tell you one thing; the longer you wait the bigger the mess and clean up will be.

So, how do you know how your authentic self really feels? Try quieting your thoughts, ask your question and listen to your heart. That first, untainted, gut response is it. And you know it! Now, take a deep breath. Accept the truth in your answer and act! You, the situation or person and the world will all be better and stronger for it!

Make 2007 your best year yet!